today= not bad.

lovely friends, check.
cool work, check.
healthy attitude, check.
jitney reservation, check.
invitation for drinks at the private vineyard of a vendor in the hamptons this weekend, check.
birthday dinner hosted in my honor at friend's home this week, check.
birthday THROW DOWN hosted by other friends, check.

everything is cool.

i ran a 7 minute mile today. now i am eating ice cream before bed.
tomorrow i plan to write thank you cards to everyone in istanbul and get a pedicure.

i'm patiently waiting for my old writing obsession to come back.

for some reason i lost my self-expression somewhere along the way. and i've completely forgotten how to string words together in a way that makes any sense or most importantly, means anything to me. dammit!

maybe at the stroke of midnight on my twentyfifth anniversary it will all come crashing back. and i will recall why i loved/hated being imprisoned in this crazy mind. and remember how to scream at the world "DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME????"

does anybody give a damn?

kafljafafheahfieahrkajfkf;akjf

still sleepy. can't wait to get in my bed.

and for godssakes, can the shitty dreams go away?? i have managed to push him from conscious thought. if my subconscious would simply follow suit, we could all get along very nicely.

NO MORE!

you will sleep! and you will dream of moonbeams and clouds and sunshine and summmmmmmertime!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee