it sucks to live in new york when it rains.

no no no, it sucks to not have a driver in new york when it rains.

i went out this weekend with a guy who had a driver.

we B&T'd it to dinner in brooklyn with a bunch of people in his sick S55 AMG drinking veuve cliquot the whole way. it was basically my sweetest fantasy come true.

except for the part about brooklyn.

and the fact that it was his driver, not mine.


oh, and the fact that he's gay.



foiled again.

ok, so basically my sweetest fantasy has been reduced to a rad car with a driver, full of booze, mo's and whatnot (heavy on the hwhatnot).

hmmm.

regardless. tonight, when i was leaving my place of business (which is where i take part in my "career" and earn my "slave wages"), i wished i had a driver. it didn't even have to be my own personal driver of my sleek benz. i would've taken my own personal driver of an el camino. or a gremlin. i just needed a mode of transportation that i could call my own. and not so much a moped.

the rain was ruthless.

driving rain. coming at me with the force of an afterschoolspecial.

my skirt was plastered to my legs and my feet were squishing in my trainers within blocks of the "office."

then came the lightning.

son of a bitch.

as i'm clutching my lightning rod with a complete death grip.

and by the way, i didn't even realize they made non-metal umbrellas. where was i when they gave that seminar in inclement weather safety and procedures?

atleast i know that next time i am driving down a highway and see a tornado, i should climb under an overpass.

luckily.

yeah, next time i'm "driving" down the highway.

on what?

my schwinn 10 speed?

so i walked a little over halfway home, when i found a cab.

i should've known better. this guy looked like he had just had a lobotomy. i don't even think i could imitate how blank his face looked. as i'm standing there in the pouring rain. umbrella down, because hey, i think i've got a cab. maybe. 30 seconds of deluge later, he nods and i get into the cab. atleast he repeated my cross streets back to me.

and then promptly turned in the opposite direction.

awesome.

ummm, sir? it took us about 20 minutes to make up for the lost block. so i was fully cranky at said point in the journey.

28 minutes and 1 mile later, i was home. there really is nothing like traveling at an average speed of a little over 2 miles an hour.

lesson: don't ever take your personal driver for granted.

or your trust fund.