i'm boring.

i said it.

maybe not boring. maybe just lazy.

and still uninspired.

i need a new adventure.

i laid in the sun and contemplated the next thing. where to go, what to do...
i had exactly 3 phone conversations while on the roof. and all of them came back to the same thing: the next big adventure.
it was a detox sort of weekend.
all of the close friends out of town and that was a-ok.
i read two books.
i got a haircut.
i bought a dress.
i went to the grocery store.
i didn't speak to anyone.
i even went to church.
sometimes, the greek cathedral is an amazing place for meditation. i wish these pictures did it justice. in the morning. when the sun is shining, it looks so clean and white and beautiful.





this morning was not so peaceful. i just could not connect to anything, even myself and my thoughts. i sat in the back with a gaggle of squealing children and their gabby luncheoning mothers. the kids were adorable and fun. their mothers were cloying and obnoxious. i had a hard time chalking their constant chatter up to youth and naivete. then the priest gave a major guilt speech of the you-don't-come-to-church/volunteer/giveenoughmoney persuasion (just the kind that turns me off from the church). and to top it off i was paraded around by a woman who announced that it was her mission to introduce me to EVERYONE at the coffee hour.
awesome.
so much for laying low.

oh well. the weekend was sanctuary in and of itself. i am not exhausted today.

i just guess i have lost all of the interesting things that i used to think about?
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

still trying. still fucking trying.

no worries. it will come.